"I just can't sit here and say, it will be OK tomorrow. Because you know, it probably won't, especially if I sit here and say it! I am the only one that can make anything happen in my rather uneventful life. Hoping, wishing, wanting and waiting are all the things that have stopped me before. This is me now, I am not a superstar - in fact rather the opposite, frustratingly normal in every way.

OK, I am here upsidedown on a grave but at last I am making a break for the impossible. That endless quest of realizing a dream. I try every day to find a way to catch that dream of becoming a mainstream author. It keeps blowing off in the wind of course. But I can't give up now, not after 10 years anyway. Sometimes I think I am almost there, but, for would-be first time authors like me, the mountains move just when you think you are at the foot of them.

A big thank you all you wonderful authors and writers who have amailed me on pg@kennedys.co.uk keep them coming! See my rather desparate blog too!"

Clayton Caine was born in London in 1964 and educated at Middlesex University where he came out with a failed art degree. His first novel, Please God I Want To Win the Lottery, was published in the UK in 2007..